Humpty Drumpfy Tried to Build a Wall…


Stable genius Drumpf, dreamt of a wall,

A big wall, a tall wall, bigger than all,

To keep those nasty immigrants out once and for all,

He got the idea in a Hannity phone call,

He told the MAGA hatters, Mexico would pay for it all,

He threatened, he bullied, he whined, shut down the government, employees and all,

Republicans scattered like rats in the hall,

He thought Nancy Pelosi was one of his cheap dolls,

But she said no and has him by the balls,

O what gall, this Drumpf (et al), we can’t wait till he finally falls!

(With apologies to my 4th grade poetry teacher)

“We Three Cons of…”

Alison Jackson - Lyst

I drove by city hall and saw that the generic nativity scene was out already. I couldn’t wait for my new “MAGA — Trump”  Nativity scene to arrive! It came yesterday and I removed all the Jews, Arabs, and foreigners. Ended up with a jackass and a handful of sheep. Perfect!

“Woe to the land that’s governed by a child”


So the MAGA hatted, right wing agitators and provocateurs are in hysterics over a play with an assassination scene with a lead character resembling Dear Leader. They must have missed the day in school when Shakespeare was covered. Yes, dear followers its Shakespeare, a 16th century English playwright who like to have famous figures killed off in course of the drama. A few examples:

Richard the Second? Tortured and Executed

Richard the Third? Slain.

Romeo and Juliet? Teen Suicides.

Hamlet? Dead

Macbeth? Lots of dead.

Coriolanus? Killed by conspirators.

Titus Andronicus? Lots of blood. Rape. Mutilation. Severed Heads. Cannibalism.

Yes, ol’ Shakespeare was a mighty blood thirsty fellow!  Real dangerous stuff!

The orange haired bouffant buffoon currently ruining the country from the Oval Office joins the illustrious ranks of other famous politicians and blowhards who have been added to the cast of Shakespeare productions in the past such as Obama, Hillary, and Mussolini.

Will there be an executive order from El Trumpe banning English playwrights as unpatriotic and subversive?

Will the Department of Homeland Security crackdown on bootleg copies of SparkNotes?

I would recommend remedial courses in English literature for summer reading.

(Title: Richard III- Act 2, Scene 3)

Saints Preserve Us (Or Elves)


A great-grandmother in Brazil has been accidentally praying every day for years to a figure of Elrond, an elf from “The Lord of the Rings” after mistaking it for a figurine of Saint Anthony of Padua. Her relative made the discovery after taking a look at the figurine, and realizing something wasn’t quite right. Following a hunch, they searched online for the figure – and found one exactly identical to the great-grandmother’s. However, there was only one problem – the figure wasn’t listed under ‘Saint Anthony’, it was in fact listed under “Elrond.”


While Anthony is the patron saint for the recovery of lost things it’s unclear what Elrond is assigned to cover – maybe the recovery of lost rings, lost wizards or lost hobbits?

The Circus has Found its Clown

r genn

“As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron” (H.L. Mencken).

(PS – With thanks to D. Wilson and R. Genn)

We Get Holiday Letters…

hervey thomas kibble herveys B20070 92

Hello Dear Ones!

Since you enjoy the privilege of knowing our FABULOUS family you were first on the list to receive our “Letting You Know How Good We’ve Got It in Comparison to Your Own Tired Miserable Existence” letter!

Billy Bob & I certainly enjoyed our annual visits to Nepal and Belize – so refreshing & good for one’s karma to be able to stimulate local economies with our presence and tourist dollars! To celebrate our marvelous marriage he got me a Ferrari ($ 1.4 million) & I bought him another Patek Phillipe – hey when you’ve got the petty cash why not? Billy Bob continues to provide the poor, simple folks of Myanmar, Cambodia and Bangladesh an opportunity to compete in the global economy at his expanding manufacturing facilities. He even turned down a contract from D. Trump too – because you know we can’t be wasting our time with frivolities!

Billy Bob Jr. (17 years old) continues to work on Wall Street as a Propriety Trader / Hedge Fund specialist bringing home a salary of 9 zeroes. Wanda Sue (13) has a full scholarship to MIT for Biomedical Engineering / Cognitive Programming and is on speed dial with the C.D.C., N.S.C. & the O.D.N.I. She also continues to lead the Chess Club & Cheer Leading Teams.

As you can see we are doing FANTASTIC! We know most of you leave ordinary lives punctuated by boredom, bounced checks & sleepless nights but we wanted to spread some holiday cheer to help dissipate the gloom. We count you as among the fortunate to know us & we truly appreciate the envy and jealousy our AMAZING lives generate! And if you’re getting this letter it means you did not get invited to our New Year’s Eve Gala Celebration at the Connaught in London but we will send pictures – T.T.F.N!